Don't call me retard, Rommauel!

For shame, Rommauel, calling me retard! You not sattyrist! You not funny! You insentive dick! You not call people retards! That pervue of legitimit comedyins. That pervue of legitimit sattyrists-- funniman and sattyrists like Rush Limbah!

How dare you say word retard in closed door private meeting! When my mommy Presnit, she will fire you ass.

Then she was continue to work for real 'Mericans, and stop horble librels and strike blow gainst polittical correkness!

Look out Osbama! Mommy quit 'Laska to be Presnit! Here come Mommy!

You better wach you back, Osbama! Mommy rezine tody to show 'Merica she redy to be presnit. You no good, Osbama, You no fix conomy. You comonnist taking over car companies! 'Merica needs tough leder who know how to stan up to challenj. Who won't shrek from 'sponsibility! That my mommy!

And juss you wait-- she gone be presnit next!!!! You wait an cee!

Hey Steve Smit! Why you in GOP soocular fyrin squad with Mommy?

Steve Smit! You look like Zippee Pinhed! Why you fewding with Mommy over Vanny Fair article? Nobuddy want to hear stories about campaign infiting. That not foward thinking. That not looking to footure. Moomy footure of GOP. Mommy next presnit! You shut up about campain, Pinhed! Even Bill Krisco say you shut up, and he rite about everting! Grampa 'Cain be presnit today if Bill Krisco was advisor!

Hey, Dave Wetterman! You a big gap toof dick!

Hey David Wetterman! It outragus you make jokes about my big sister have premarial sex. You not funny! You jokes in poor taste! All you librul leets are the same! You better watch out when Mommy runs for lection next. Vanny Fair says she don't forget peeple who say mean things. So you better watch out, David Wetterman! We watchen you! Figurtively speaken, of course. We don't wan to boose you Nelson Ratings!

Hey, 'Merica! Willam Ayoos #1 ishoo in 'Lection!

Wake up, 'Merica! Brack Osbama is bess frends with Willam Ayoos. Willam Ayoos scary bommer. Willam Ayoos 'mestic terrist. He and Osbama very bess frends. They juss like eche other. If Brack Osbama no marryd to 'Chelle Osbama, Brack Osbama marry Willam Ayoos! Can 'Merica fford a presnit who has bad judgment to be bess frends with Willam Ayoos? Willam Ayoos bomb 'Merica 40 yers ago, back when Grampa 'Cain only 32 years old!! Now he say he rebiltrated, trying to hep chidren in Sicago. But can person rilly change in only 40 yers? And why Brack Osbama tryin to change subject by tokking about 'conomy? It's fundamnals are strog!

How well do we rilly know Brack Osbama?!?!?

'Merica Voters Love Mommy! Mommy Win Nemmy Wards!

I no see Mommy so much no more. She bizy with press an hardhittig innervues with noosemen like Shan Hammity. Boy, he have jornlistic integitty! Mommy so bizy now, I only see her on teevee. Other nite I see Mommy win multipol Nemmy Wards. Thanks you, Nemmy voters! Thanks you, 'Merica!

I asso hear Mommy great on SNL. Big Sister put me to bed earlee, so I no no what SNL is. Dos SNL stand for "savig n lones?" Mommy grate with fisco responsibiltee in troubled tiems. She put plain on eBae!!!

I Miss My Brother

Cause he's Raqi Solider. Will you love Trig?


Big Brother ship off to fite War of Terrism in Raqi War. I miss almost much I miss Mommy. Grampa 'Cain says Raqi war last up to hunrid years. That means, wen Big Brother get home, he almost old as Grampa 'Cain!